As the days go by, Mom and I are both adjusting to our new lives. We can both be assured that she is being cared for. I am slowly cleaning and organizing my home for life without mom here everyday. Jim and I can now leave any food mom could not have out in sight. She was so good at sneaking that we learned to hide food. Not what I would choose to do but what we had to do.
I picked her up on Saturday afternoon and brought her to my home. We grilled steaks, and had a lovely meal. She just wanted to spend time with me and with Holly. She did not want to look at all the clippings I had found. She said the memories made her cry.
I felt bad that she was upset. She does not want to remember the way life was because she can’t go back there. She made the statement that life will never be the same. I know it won’t. I guess I was praying she was adjusting more than she is…
I was sad that she was sad. She cried and I cried. This journey is not an easy one. We go two steps forward and one step back. The loss she feels is real. The loss I feel is real. We just can’t expect it to be painless. The adjustment is slow and very hard. But we will make it. We are strong and we have faith. We never forget that.
Calvinsdaughter 