The Journey Continues

Almost a week has passed since my mother began her new life in the personal care home.  She has had a few days of adjustment so far.  Her memory loss is still very evident as she repeatedly asks when she is going home.  Each time she asks my heart freezes up a bit.  But I answer her honestly.  The doctors want you to stay here where you get care around the clock, 24/7.  She settles and immediately asks again.  I repeat my answer.  As soon as I can, I change the subject.  She is happy for the moment.  And so am I until the next time she asks…

My adjustment has started to come bit by bit at home as well.  I no longer have to immediately run home from work to start supper; however, I no longer see that smile and hear her voice when I do open the door.  Her greeting always made me smile and feel loved.  The lonely feeling is sometimes so overwhelming as I continue to pick out more and more of her things to take to her in her new home.  Adjustments are hard, harder than I ever realized.  I miss my mom.

The little weiner dog we got in December named Holly misses Mom too.  She searched for her for a few days.  Now all Holly wants is my continual attention which I gladly give.  She is lost too.  Her buddy is not around but she still smells her in that lonely room.  She still grabs those slippers Mom wore when she could not find her favorite ones…  Holly is adjusting too.